How Confident Are You? Find Out with the Confidence Coach Confidence Test

In everyday situations, are you confident and full of self-belief? Or are you diffident and self-doubting?  Do you miss out on opportunities at work or in your social life because you lack the confidence you would like to have?

There is so much you can do to change that!

You can achieve your goals and become the kind of person you wish to be.  But first take my test to find out just how truly confident you are! 

Which box applies to you? Count your As, Bs and Cs!

I tend to do what I think is expected of me, rather than what I really want to do!	A Often	B Sometimes	C Never
I care and look after myself the way I do for other people	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
I handle new situations with relative comfort and ease.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
I feel positive and energized about life.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
If something looks difficult, I avoid doing it.	A Often	B Sometimes	C Never
I have a balanced view of my qualities and my limitations.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
I believe that I have as much right as anyone else to have good things in life.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
I’m used to not achieving the goals I set for myself.	A Often	B Sometimes	C Never
I motivate myself through kindness and not through criticism.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
People give me positive feedback on my work and achievements.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
I feel confident in expressing my views at work.	A Never	B Sometimes	C Often
I don’t really see myself as worthwhile.	A Often	B Sometimes	C Never

The Results

Mainly As You probably wish you had more self-confidence! Take a closer look at all the things you've achieved in your life. You may tend to focus more on what you don't have and this takes time and attention away from recognizing and using your skills and talents. You have a lot to gain from working with a coach to improve your confidence. I believe my  Learn to Be Confident Program can really help you!

Mainly Bs You are probably doing an OK job of recognizing your skills, and believing in your abilities. But perhaps you’re a little too hard on yourself! I believe you could gain from working with a coach to improve your confidence – have a look at my Learn to Be Confident Program – I’d love to work with you! 

Mainly Cs You are a confident person and your life is full of validation and success.   Remember you still need to nurture your self-confidence, give yourself space to reflect on how good life is and share some of that good will around with all those about you!

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence
If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers her Learn to Be Confident Program at this link.
You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44(0)20846011

Confidence at Assessment Centres

Assessment centres make us nervous but help is available!

My friend Jim has just got through to an assessment centre and I think he has done really well.  It is a job he really wants and I think he will do well in the role.

Clearly the recruiters think so too! Assessment centres cost money and you don’t usually call up candidates unless you think that from what you have seen on paper they could do well.

Now Jim has been to an assessment centre before so he knows the kind of thing to expect.  If you are not sure then there is lots of good advice at Prospects, The UK Government Graduate Career’s Website.  But Jim hasn’t been very successful in the past.

He knows I’ve set up assessment centres and acted as an assessor.  So he has asked me for a few top tips and you can find what I've told him at this link.

I’ve coached a number of people for assessment centres in the past so if you would like my help please get in touch.   

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence
If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link
You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Related articles

• 6 Tips for Confident Networking (leavingthepublicsector.net)
• Five Ways to Make a Killer First Impression (socyberty.com)
• Leading the Confident Team (wisewolftalking.com)
• Three ways to get party confident (mirror.co.uk)

6 Tip to Help You Look Confident

  

Do you look confident?

If I walked into a room and you were there, what would I see?  What would your body language tell me?  Would I want to get to know you better?

Remember people like confident people and over 70% of our communication is transmitted by our body language.

So, while you are working on your confidence how do you change your body language to make you look confident?  Here are a few tips to help:

1. Start at the bottom – well at least with your feet.  Stand with them at least 12 inches apart and have your weight evenly distributed between them. Plant the soles of your feet firmly and evenly on the ground – let them give a firm support to the rest of your body. Now you are rooted but not rooted to the spot! But don’t lock your knees – instead...
2. Let you spine do its job. Your spine protects and supports your internal organs – let it do it proudly! Feel your spine lifting you to the sky – that is what it is there for!  Lift your upper body out of your pelvis and stand upright.  Feel yourself “lengthening your spine” – stand proud!  Try thinking of a piece of string, attached to the top of your head gently pulling upwards. But...
3. Don’t lift your shoulders high. Let them drop and relax.  The shoulders and neck often show and feel tension the most!  Instead...
4. Let your shoulders widen rather than pull back. Open your chest up so that you can breathe freely.  That in itself will make you feel more relaxed.  Now you are ready to...
5. Smile.  Bring an inner smile with you– practice some affirmations at home, give yourself some positive messages – “relax and smile”, “calm and smile”, “wonderful people make me smile”. Bring that smile to your eyes and let it broaden to fill your whole being. Practice feeling how it feels.  Now when you meet other people say quietly to your self – “these are the wonderful people who make me smile”.  Now smile with your eyes when you look at them.  Next... 
6. Focus on others, be interested in them rather than how you are feeling. You will look approachable and suddenly your confidence will come out from where it is hiding and join you at the party!

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence

If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Related articles

• 6 Tips for Confident Networking (leavingthepublicsector.net)
• Five Ways to Make a Killer First Impression (socyberty.com)
• Leading the Confident Team (wisewolftalking.com)
• Three ways to get party confident (mirror.co.uk)

Confident Thinking is as easy as ABC

Confident people know what they are good at and what they find difficult!

Confident people may want to improve a particular skill!  

But that doesn’t mean they feel that room for improvement means they have failed.  They see things in the wider context of the many things that they can do!  

This positive approach combined with positive aspects of their own personality leads to a positive response to the world about them.

When a situation or event occurs, it is this confident assessment of themselves which influences how they react.  Their thoughts about the event are flavoured by a positive view of themselves and so they can act in a way that is positive for them and those about them.

 

Those lacking in confidence have a negative view of themselves and their abilities. This negative assessment means that they react to events in a way that leads to a negative outcome.

Confident people challenge their negative feelings but those lacking in confidence don’t!

The ABC model describes how this works and how events and situations trigger our thoughts.  These thoughts activate our feelings and those feelings lead to our actions.

This is the ABC Model:

• A – A situation or event occurs
• B – Beliefs we have formed in the past (perhaps in childhood) influence how we think about the situation
• C - Consequences flow from these thoughts – we react with feelings which in turn lead to actions and responses. 

In confidence coaching, an understanding of the ABC model can help people to identify how their negative thoughts are influencing how they react. 

With support, people who lack confidence can begin to understand, monitor and intervene to change their faulty thinking.

Developing confidence means learning to challenge and change negative thoughts wherever they come from.   Those negative thoughts can then be replaced with more realistic and much more positive ones. 

With a positive thinking style, you are in control and you can ensure the best possible outcome from the events and situations you encounter.

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence

If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Related articles

• Confidence and the Passionate Leader (wisewolftalking.com)
• 6 Tips for Confident Networking (leavingthepublicsector.net)
• 12 Tips for Confident Interviews (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)
• The ability to bounce - coping with life's problems (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)

Leading the Confident Team

First would you describe yourself as a confident team leader?

As the leader, you no doubt have confidence in your technical abilities but do you have confidence in yourself? Are you a team leader with self-confidence?

When you are a confident team leader, you are someone who is comfortable in your own skin and in the team leader role!

You know who you are and you know what you stand for, not just in this role but in your life in general.

In successful teams, it is vital that team spirit develops and that members adopt an ‘all for one’ attitude.  But to be successful as a team, each member also needs to have confidence in themselves in their role within the team.

A team is only ever as strong as its weakest link and if a member lacks confidence in themselves, they will also lack confidence in their role within the team.

A strong team is made up of individual members who believe in themselves and their abilities but they also believe that they are stronger because they are playing as a team, and not as individuals.

Unfortunately, when you lack self-confidence, your thoughts and actions are greatly influenced by people around you and by those you believe to be more confident and competent than you. This means that you are easily led by those who are more confident than you.

Even when you believe the team could do better adopting a different approach, your lack of confidence may lead you to doubt your own judgment.

To be successful, it’s essential that each team member develops confidence in themselves and in their role.  But this is most important for the team leader!

If you are not confident in yourself , as leader, then the team is likely to sense your doubts and their confidence in their own roles within the team will be eroded.

Each team member needs to believe in themselves and in their abilities so that all can contribute fully.

Self-confidence can be described as a positive mix of self-efficacy (respect for your own competence) and self-esteem (valuing yourself).

The good news is that confidence is largely learned and with support it can be acquired by anyone.

So if you have to lead a team, act now if you have reservations about your own or a team member’s confidence!

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence

If you would like to work on developing your own confidence, Wendy offers the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Related articles

• Confidence and the Passionate Leader (wisewolftalking.com)
• 6 Tips for Confident Networking (leavingthepublicsector.net)
• 12 Tips for Confident Interviews (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)
• The ability to bounce - coping with life's problems (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)

Body language and a more confident approach to life!

Image via Wikipedia

Body language has a major part to play in how we communicate with others. 

People form a very quick first impression of us based on appearance and body language - the way we walk, smile, sit and stand. 

When we communicate,  this body language plays a major role – greater than the words we use or the tone of voice that we adopt.

Once we understand the role that body language plays we can learn to shape the way that others see us. 

Body language can help us project a confident image. 

Being aware of our body language and knowing that we are projecting a confident image help us to feel more confident!  This supports us in dealing with others as our confidence grows.

An understanding of body language allows us to communicate more effectively.  This is because with the right body language we can reinforce the message we wish to convey.   But also it helps us to understand much better the real meaning and emotions of people - those with whom we are communicating. 

An understanding of confident body language and the ability to use our own body language confidently allows us to understand and deal more effectively with those about us.  

Learning to smile and convey warmth helps people to like us.  We can lean to use gestures to convey empathy and to encourage mutual understanding. 

Knowing that we can project a confident image that encourages others to like us and knowing how we come across contributes to our self confidence.  It supports our ability to handle challenging situations and life in general. 

But it is important to recognize that body language can be culturally specific.  What is acceptable in one culture may not be so in others.  For example, offering a warm handshake is positive in many countries but may not be so in others.  We need to be aware that the meaning of gestures and the acceptability of particular behaviour can vary between cultures. 

If you would like to learn more about using body language effectively, see Part 1 of the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence.You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Related articles

• 6 Tips for Confident Networking (leavingthepublicsector.net)
• 12 Tips for Confident Interviews (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)
• The ability to bounce - coping with life's problems (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)

Five Ways Friends Help Build Our Self-Confidence

A big deterrent to accomplishing a goal is thinking you can't.

Published on October 22, 2011 by Irene S. Levine, Ph.D. in The Friendship Doctor

Everyone has self-doubts and insecurities from time to time. It's common to worry about how we look, our performance at college or at work, or how others perceive us. Sometimes we may question whether we said or did the right thing in a specific situation -- or worry about something as minor as whether we picked the right pair of shoes to complement a little black dress.


Like most people, whenever I'm unsure about myself, I tend to ask a friend or close family member for a second opinion. A healthy dose of skepticism and uncertainty about ourselves is a good thing because it helps us make better decisions. No one knows everything or has perfect instincts, and having good friends on whom we can rely for advice helps improve our sense of self-confidence and make better decisions.


Here are five ways friends can help build your self-confidence: More at this link 

Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., is a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. Her latest book is Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.

Why you lack confidence!

Image via WikipediaConfidence is learned! 

From the day we are born our family, friends and the environment contribute to the development of our confidence.  But they can also contribute to our lack of confidence. 

Day by day throughout our lives, we receive a barrage of messages.  This can encourage or erode our ability to develop confidence.

Most parents want only the very best for their children. But if they, themselves, do not have the right skills how could they know how to encourage confidence in their child.

If our parents lack confidence, we may become shy and lacking in confidence.  If parents are cold and distant we may grow up lacking confidence.  Or perhaps they found it difficult to praise or they were constantly criticizing that in turn can lead us to have a poor self image.

With brothers and sisters, other family members and teachers, if we feel or are treated as different, or we find it difficult to fit in, lack of confidence may result.

Often those who contribute to our lack of confidence have little or no understanding of the effect they have upon us.  They may mean us well.  But their unthinking remarks can have a very long lasting effect.   

Bullying and feeling ‘other’ and outside the group as a result of poverty, disability, ethnicity, and religion, lack of education or physical appearance can contribute to a lack of confidence.

What started in childhood can be further reinforced by life events, for example, long term illness or acquired disability, long term unemployment, family difficulties or domestic violence. For someone who has little support and/or has not learned coping skills, events of this kind can lead to or further destroy confidence.

Luckily all is not lost. 

Working with a coach or therapist can help.  With time and support we can find that confidence we lack.  But it can help to understand where that lack of confidence came from in the first place. 

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personaland career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence.You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Related articles

• 6 Tips for Confident Networking (leavingthepublicsector.net)
• 12 Tips for Confident Interviews (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)
• The ability to bounce - coping with life's problems (leavingthepublicsector.blogspot.com)